Blindsided With Adoption
It was early in the 2017 holiday season when my wife and I were sitting at the table eating dinner with family. My cousin, who struggles with infertility, said “there is a lady that I know that contacted me saying she has twin girls that she wants to give up for adoption when they are born. She asked me if I wanted them since I have infertility issues and I said no”. My wife immediately looks at me and says “I want them”. I looked at her like she was crazy since we were freshly married. We hadn't even talked about having kids any time soon. Why would she think we should adopt now, especially TWO at once? A few days go by and the thought of having twins started to sound appealing to me. Why? Why does this sound like a good idea? Don't we need to just start out with one child? Is this even financially possible for us?? I mean, my wife was still in college at the time and I was the only one supporting us tying to hold down two jobs. As the weeks went by we desperately searched for answers on what to do. We knew a few things about the birth mother and none of them were good. Terrifying actually. We actually knew the adoptive parents of her previous child she gave up for adoption a few years earlier and they didn't have many positives to say about their dealings with the birth mother. We prayed together, read our bibles daily, talked to others who have adopted. We just desperately tried to find some peace as to what to do. We were just scared out of our minds. The “what ifs” kept creeping its way into our minds. What if we cant afford the adoption fees? What if they have serious health issues? What if she is lying and isn't even pregnant and just wants money? What if we cant afford daycare for two kids? As the “what ifs” kept coming we felt the calming presence of God around us. Each day that passed we felt God telling us that this was going to be our story. It didn't matter if they had health issues because they were going to be our children and we would love them unconditionally no matter what. We then jumped into overdrive and started taking steps to start the adoption process. We decided we wanted to meet the birth mother, which we wrestled with for a while. I have to say that I am so glad that we did. We got to hear her heart and how she truly felt about the babies. She truly loved them and wanted what was best for them even if that meant giving them up. We made doctors appointments with her, most of which she bailed on us. But still for some reason the love we had for her was unending. A few months go by since a doctors appointment where she didn't show and I get a phone call from our attorney. He said “well, I have some news for you. There isn't two babies there is only one baby and it is a boy.” My wife and I were somehow very calm about it. I mean we had already picked out twin girl names and bought some girl bedding. Long story short we ended up actually going to one of her doctors appointments and got to hear his heart beat. That was one of the happiest days of my life. I had seen with my very own eyes that he was a healthy baby boy. My wife and I were ecstatic. Finally in January of 2018 our little boy was born. He was and still is the most precious child. I couldn't imagine life without him. I honestly forget that he is adopted. I’m not sure if anyone needs to hear that story but I just wanted to share. If anyone is struggling with a decision of whether to adopt or not I would recommend to just pray about it with your spouse, dig into the scripture, and talk to other adoptive parents. Adoption is a calling, adoption is hard, adoption is absolutely exhausting, above all adoption is such a perfect picture of the gospel. I would go through it all over again just to get my perfect baby boy.